Huwebes, Setyembre 22, 2011

What is Love (Part III)

Love is a critical, reasonable and principled decision
             “Love is simply a humanistic decision confined with a rational and emotional aspect of the human person” (Mother Theresa, 1992, p. 23). Humans inevitably love and mostly, he loves with his guiding emotions. Man simply adheres to the reality “heart over mind” in which emotions are the guiding principle. Perhaps, this is  a really that never fades especially I the context of the teens and youngsters. They love or we love rather because of this what we called “unexplained emotions.” We put the feelings  of joy, “kilig moments and reality, love is also a feeling of sadness and sorrow. Perhaps, this is are reasons why others became miserable, useless, and the worst, become crazy. Emotions are not being denoted in the aspect of love, but it must not always be the standard. In a more rational approach, love is a critical, reasonable and principled decision. Love must not always subjective  to what we feel or how do  we feel, but it must be a love anchored with rational principles and reasonable decisions. The three following write-ups will show how love works in a more critical and rational manner.
Just like Mother Theresa
            “Nagpari ako dahil desisyon kong magpari! Sa kabila ng mga pagdurusang kaakibat ng bokasyon na ito ay pinagdesisyonan ko paring magpari!Those are the very  words that  I could not forget from Fr. “Jojo” Cabanting. He is simply Fr. Badjao as  being called by his friends and relatives. Fr. Badjao is my townmate in Cuyapo, Nueva Ecija. He is a priest assigned in St. Jerome Parish, Brgy. Baloc, Sto. Domingo, Nueva Ecija. Fr. Jojo is such a simple priest. He inspired so much in my vocation to the priesthood and even if I went out from the seminary, he is still there to support and to all me “brother”. In him, I learned and realized the true nature of love—that love is such a critical, reasonable and principled decision. He is just like the male character of Mother Theresa of Calcutta, India in which the said to be “living saint” touched many lives, and that is Fr. Jojo. He touches life in his own unexpected way. He became a priest not merely because of the incentives or the popularity that he may gain in joining such vocation, but, he became a priest because it is his decision. He prayed to God that He may give to Fr. Badjao the blessings and mercies and God heard his prayers.
            Perhaps, the story of Fr. Jojo is a typical of the true nature of love in which it needs a brave mind and heart in decision making, in opening one’s heart and giving one’s life.. 

What is love (Part II)

Love is a pre-requisite element of life...
Love is such a powerful emotion and feeling, it should never be defined by a few words that will never do justice in describing all that love truly is. For that reason alone, it is safer to keep love as something subjective, something that is unique to the person experiencing it, not something poorly summed up into a sentence found in Webster. The moment we are able to accurately define what love is through a definition, is the same moment that any true meaning behind it is lost.
Love is a huge trial and error process passed on from relationship to relationship. Out of all the relationships we have in life, interpersonal, family, and friendship, the type of love we experience in each relationship stratus differs greatly from the next. We love our family because that is the only way we grow up knowing how to feel about them. Sure, we may love some family members more than others but, some form of love is constant throughout our family trees. We love our friends in an entirely different way than we love our family and partners. Love for our friends is more of an unspoken connection. We love our friends, and would never want to loose the true one's, but we're not exactly going around saying that we love them. In that sense, friendship can almost be seen more as an expressed appreciation to have them with an unspoken sense of love for them. Interpersonal relationships, by far are the most difficult relationship stratus to experience love. We may have many serious relationships in our lives, each one leaving us thinking we loved the person but the moment it is over we're left wondering if we ever loved them at all.
It is the relationships we walk away from with a sense of "the one who got away" that can more than likely be interpreted as a true love. The relationships where we pick our brain and question our sanity as to why we were ever with the person are the one's where love was probably misinterpreted for another emotion, usually lust. Lust and love have many parallels and is easy to see why they are often confused. When you're "in lust," you love what a person can do for or to you, leaving people under the impression that they are in love but if they really thought about it, they would probably realize they don't actually love the person, just what the person is capable of. Being in love, in the simplest of terms, is when you unconditionally accept and like all that another person is, represents, does, believes in etc. Love is by far based on the whole person and lust is picking and choosing what you like about a person.
Love is also one of the scariest experiences we can ever go through. It is so powerful, when it's genuine, what we are willing to do to keep it should be terrifying to any sane person. We find that the things we try so hard to keep hidden as to who we are personally can't stay hidden from the person we love, whether it is by our choice to disclose certain things no one else would ever get to know, or because we find that it can't be helped and those details are leaving our mouths before our brain is telling us to stop. I am a strong advocate that everyone has their personal baggage we keep hidden from people we know are unworthy of knowing it and can't handle knowing. When you're in love though, it's almost as if you want that person to know everything. This is good and bad. It's good in the sense that it is a telltale sign to you that your level of disclosure has increased more than it ever does normally, and that should be a huge sign that the person you are disclosing information to is someone you probably subconsciously know is worthwhile of truly knowing you. As humans, we are very superficial by nature, it is the people we are genuine with that we need to pay attention to.
I think everyone falls in love at some point. I think the term "falls" or "falling" is more than accurate because it happens unexpectedly and once we realize it has happened, we see how hard and fast it happened, and by the time we realize it we see just how lost we let ourselves get. It's the people that take love for granted, thinking it can easily happen again and that it isn't something to appreciate, are the one's who will never know what love is because they will never let themselves be loved.
Letting ourselves be loved is almost as scary as loving someone, if anything it is probably ten times harder to let ourselves be loved. When we let someone love us, we are putting our guard down and exposing our very core and just how sensitive and easy it is for us to get hurt in the process. Letting ourselves be loved and letting ourselves love are much the same, and in the end, it all comes down to why we go through all this just to say we have been in love. That is something that makes up a huge part of what love is, why we go through all this for one emotion, and on the same note, that is something we will never know. No study or research will ever be able to describe accurately all the emotions and feelings love produces; sure they can explain all the physical and brain activity that is associated with it, but never the emotional framework. “The moment that love can be studied and described and put into a universal nutshell of meaning is the moment it is worthless and no longer worth the wonderful hassle of experiencing” (Borg, 2001, p. 12). Everyone wants to know that their love is unique and what they are feeling is something only shared by them and the person they love. In life there is love.

Martes, Setyembre 20, 2011

What is Love? (Part I)

Love is simply having a broader perspective in life…
            In our world today, we cannot deny the reality that there are some people who find their life miserable. There are some who abruptly loses hope especially when problems and difficulties enter their life. Some are even committed suicides or diverting their problems in their own vices such as womanizing, excessive liquor drinking, drugs and others. Thus, they assess their life in a very limited perspective or view. Personally, I believe that life is a dynamic reality in man’s existence. I believe that “the greatness of that who knows oneself as miserable” (Festin, 2000, p.29). Life is an everchanging reality I which man is obliged to live. In life it’s not only about happiness and success but its is about  sadness and failures. It’s not only about perfection but it is also about imperfections. Hence, man is Invited to have a broader perspective or view about life. We are being asked to accept the reality that human as we are, are imperfect being because a miserable being is thus one that does not know he is miserable, but to be great is to know that one is miserable. “Human being’s greatness is thus not identified with the position that he occupies in the universe. He may be the weakest among the beings in the world, but he is great because he acknowledges his insignificance” (Festin, 2000, p. 29). Hence, I believe that seeing life in a wider reality is also a kind of love. In other words, I believe that “love is also having a broader perspective in life”, and this is the thing that I had seen to my Tito Abner.
A simple father with a fantastic view in life…
              Our father is said to be the breadwinner of our family. He has to work hard to be able to support or provide our needs. He wants us to eat nutritious meals, to have a cozy home, to study in the best school, and perhaps to have all the things that we want and need. He may not always be at home like our mother but he does love us dearly. He wants us to grow up beautifully through the discipline and rewards he gives us, and these are the things that my Tito Abner is doing---to be a good father to my cousins. Abner Sanico or simply Tito Abner is a very loving husband to Tita Eva, my mother’s youngest sister. He is from Romblon. He is an industrious vendor of fishballs, the what we called “kalamares” and other street foods. Despite of being poor and having a low-income job, Tito Abner manages to send his three children, my cousins, in the school. He also sees to it that his family will get the basic things that they need such as food, clothing, health care, and others. However, aside from these realities about my Tito Abner there is also a character of him that admired me most and that is his feature of having a broader view in life.
            There are times that their business is not that good because of its low-saving income. In times like this, Tita Eva is always hot-headed. It seems like there will be no another day in which they could earn more income from their business. There are also times in which Tita Eva is so pessimistic about their life. For her, there will be no tomorrow in which they may get what they want or do what they want. For Tita Eva, life is full of sufferings and there are no chances for them to gain wealthness or some sort of life’s sweetness. But for my Tito Abner, it is really a different thing. For him, “life is simply like that, sometimes it’s sweet and sometimes it’s bitter.”  I remember him saying these words, “ganyan lang naman talaga ang buhay balong, kasama naman talaga sa buhay ng tao ang mga problemang ‘yan. Kapag hindi na tayo namromroblema ibig sabihin hindi na tayo tao.” Honestly, I admire Tito Abner. He is a one of a kind person. He is a simple father with a fantastic view in life and that inspired me most. Thus, I really realized a different kind of love because of him.
            I realized that love is not only the good things in life. Love is not only realize when all things are being possessed by you. Love is not only when you have no problems but it is also about having difficulties. It is also about the thing or things that you do not have. It is also about the reality that we as humans have problems in life. Love is also accepting that we are imperfect, that our life is not that geared to what we call perfection. Thus, love is also having a wider reality about life. “Human life is a matter not so much of having all good things as of choosing from them. Man is presented among the many possibilities in life” (Kierkegaard, 1990, p. 18).
               

Case Study

“Improving a Student’s Poor Academic Performance due to Negative Peer Pressure: A Case Study”

             I.      Introduction
            “To want to belong is part of human nature. One feels a sense of belonging when one is accepted, or is part of a whole. This feeling gives a person a sense of identity and security.” (Tuvilla, 1998) Thus, belongingness is manifested in a number of ways—in manner of dress, in language, or in characteristics or ideas that identify a person with his/her group. Perhaps, this sense of belongingness is mostly evidential to the students of a very young age who barely needs attention and who search for identification.
When you were a little kid, your parents usually chose your friends, putting you in playgroups or arranging play dates with certain children they knew and liked. Now that you're older, you decide who your friends are and what groups you spend time with. Your friends — your peers — are people your age or close to it who have experiences and interests similar to yours. You and your friends make dozens of decisions every day, and you influence each other's choices and behaviors. This is often positive — it's human nature to listen to and learn from other people in your age group. As you become more independent, your peers naturally play a greater role in your life. As school and other activities take you away from home, you may spend more time with peers than you do with your parents and siblings. You'll probably develop close friendships with some of your peers, and you may feel so connected to them that they are like an extended family. Besides close friends, your peers include other kids you know who are the same ages — like people in your grade, church, sports team, or community. These peers also influence you by the way they dress and act, things they're involved in, and the attitudes they show.
It's natural for people to identify with and compare themselves to their peers as they consider how they wish to be (or think they should be), or what they want to achieve. People are influenced by peers because they want to fit in, be like peers they admire, do what others are doing, or have what others have. “The interaction of a young student with his/her environment brings about a process of change manifested in the development of his/her personhood.” (Gogle, 1997) However, on the other hand, we can not deny the fact that some children, rather than experiencing the normal peer pressure that occurs with most children, have one or two bad companions who are a negative influence. For this reason, other facets of a student’s life is affected especially the academic aspect of his living and eventually leads to a poor performance in the school.
Discussions about the psychology of learning are one of the focused researches in most studies. Many studies show the reality of this topic but less of these are not showing objective solutions on how to improve a student’s poor academic performance as he is being negatively influenced by his peer pressure.
          II.      Conceptual Framework
Many psychological studies recommend various ways, especially for the parents, to improve the academic status of a student who is being negatively influenced by his peers such as proper attention, positive encouragement, proper lecture on choosing friends, and others. Thus, many psychologists believe that a student diverts his attention to others, especially to his peers outside the house, because he cannot find a sufficient or enough consideration in the place in which he called “home.”


Poor Attention of Parents
“The parents must be the first peers of a child as he discovers the world around him. They must be the first persons on whom the child will learn and acquire the basic things in life.” (Mendoza, 2004) Poor attention of parents is one of the expected reasons why a student transfer himself to other persons in which the possibility of being influenced negatively is higher as 80%. For example, a busy couple usually forgets their parental responsibility to their child as he grows up. For this, the child or the student will divert his attention to those people whom he sees and feels the attention he cannot acquire from his parents. Thus, the reality of bad influence exists and other facets of the child’s life, particularly his academic performance, will be affected that eventually will turn out to be in negative effect.

Defense Mechanisms
Most students are with “defense mechanisms” with their poor performance in the school.
Students choose bad companions for a number of different reasons. Some choose them for the attention they get while others choose them for companionship. Children may also choose bad companions for the excitement that accompanies getting into trouble, to rebel against parents, or because they suffer from low self-esteem and/or little self-confidence.
Some students or most of the students blame their parents or their family problems in their shift of attention to their peers and which eventually lead them to their poor performance in school.   

       III.      Methods of Reaching out a Poorly Academic Student who is negatively influenced by his Peers (especially for the part of the parents).

According to Santos (1998), Peer pressure takes place when a child does something he or she does not want to do as a result of being pressured by peers. Peer pressure is a part of almost all children's lives. All children experience peer pressure and give in to it at one time or another. While parents can't protect their children from experiencing peer pressure, there are steps they can take to minimize its effects.

DEALING WITH PEER PRESSURE
AND BAD COMPANIONS
(Excerpts from Santos’ “Dealing with Peers”)

What Parents Can Do?
1.      Develop a close relationship with your children. If they haven't already, parents should work on developing an open, honest and close relationship with their children. Children who have close relationships with their parents are more likely to identify with and work to please their parents. Children who have close relationships with their parents are also much more likely to come to their parents when they are in trouble or are having problems.
2.      Help children understand peer pressure. Children will be much better able to stand up to peer pressure and the suggestions of bad companions if they have an understanding of the process. Parents should make sure their children know that peer pressure is something that all children, and even adults, experience at one time or another. Parents can also explain that it is normal for children to want to fit in and go along with their peers, and thus give in to peer pressure. When children have an understanding of the process and the feelings involved with peer pressure, they are much less likely to give in to it.
3.      Plan regular and frequent family activities. Parents should work hard to participate in regular, frequent family activities, starting when their children are very young. Parents should look for activities that the whole family can participate in, such as picnics, hikes in the woods, sports, etc. Parents who spend regularly scheduled time with their children participating in fun activities will have the opportunity to develop close relationships with their children. Children who spend a lot of quality time with their families are less likely to give in to peer pressure.
4.      Encourage friendships with positive role models. Parents should encourage their children to develop and maintain friendships with children who have positive qualities. When children are young, parents can do this by inviting such children over to play or inviting them to join the family for an outing. Parents can also encourage their children to join groups or activities (e.g., scouting, sports, church groups) which involve interacting with positive role models.
5.      Get to know your children's friends and their parents. Parents should make an effort to spend time with their children's friends to get to know them. They should also make an attempt to get to know their children's friends' parents. When parents do this, they are able to see whether their children's friends are positive influences, and whether friends' families have values similar to their own.
6.      Know where your children are and what they are doing. When children are at home, parents should supervise their activities. When children are not at home, parents should make an effort to know where their children are, who they are with, and what they are doing.
7.      Don't criticize your children's friends. When children have friends who are a bad influence, it is not a good idea for parents to criticize these friends. In many cases, children will become defensive and will continue to see such friends out of a sense of loyalty or to rebel against their parents. Instead of criticizing bad companions, however, parents can and should discuss specific behaviors and/or actions. For example, a parent can say, "It seems like every time Julie is over here to play, you break a house rule."
8.      Try to figure out the reason, then address it. Children give in to peer pressure and develop friendships with bad companions for many different reasons. Parents should try to find the reasons and then attempt to solve the problem. For example, if a child gives in to peer pressure because he or she lacks the self-confidence necessary to stand up to peers, then parents can take steps to improve self-confidence in their children.
9.      Encourage a wide variety of friends. Parents should encourage their children to have many different friends. This will expose children to other children who have many different interests and ideas. This will help promote individuality, and will make it less likely for children to give in to peer pressure from any one group.
10.  Encourage individuality and independence. Parents should encourage their children's individuality and independence. One of the best ways to do this is for parents to model or demonstrate these behaviors. Parents who resist pressure from their own peers are teaching their children a valuable lesson. Parents who express their individuality are doing the same. Parents should also discuss independence with their children. They should stress the importance of being one's own person and doing what one feels is right for them.
11.  Teach assertiveness. Parents should teach their children how to stand up for what they believe in. Parents can do this by using role-playing. Role-playing involves practicing different responses to various situations. This gives children a chance to practice saying no to their peers. Parents can also teach their children how to problem solve when they are faced with peer pressure, perhaps by suggesting alternative activities, or by explaining why they refuse to participate in a certain activity.
12.  Praise assertiveness. Parents should provide lots of praise to their children when they act in an assertive manner. Behavior that is praised is much more likely to be repeated.
13.  Provide discipline. When children give in to peer pressure and do something inappropriate, or get into trouble with a bad companion, parents should apply natural consequences or another form of punishment. Lecturing will probably not be enough to discourage such behavior in the future. Natural consequences can be restricting privileges, not allowing the child to spend time with the group or friend with whom he or she got into trouble, or requiring that the child make restitution for the wrong he or she has done.
14.  Seek help. If a child is consistently giving in to peer pressure, or chronically getting into               trouble with bad companions, a mental health professional should be consulted.

On the other hand, psychologists formulated a certain kind of skill intervention to help students refrain from joining bad companions and to improve their academic performance. They called this method as the “Social Skills Interventions”

(Excerpts from Guillermo’s “The Thinking Child”)

Social Skills Interventions

Effective social skills programs are comprised of two essential elements: a teaching process that uses a behavioral/social learning approach and a universal language or set of steps that facilitates the learning of new behavior. Interventions can be implemented at a school-wide, specific setting, classroom, or individual level, but at all levels the emphasis is on teaching the desired skill, not punishing negative behaviors.
Address environmental factors. The school or home environment can affect a child's ability to learn and perform good social skills. If a child is experiencing difficulty demonstrating a particular skill, it is best to first evaluate the environment to determine what might interfere with the child's appropriate acquisition of that skill. For instance, a student may be unruly at the beginning of the day because the teacher needs to establish more specific routines for coming into class, hanging up coats, checking in, etc. Addressing environmental obstacles like this also will benefit all children in that environment.
Facilitate learning through normal activities. Teachers and parents must take advantage of incidental learning, in which naturally occurring behaviors or events are used to teach and reinforce appropriate social behavior. Adults can reinforce demonstrated positive social skills by praising children when they behave correctly, or offer alternatives to poor decisions to teach the more appropriate behavior. It may be necessary when working with children who have particular difficulty to intentionally "catch" them doing the right thing or devise situations in which they can make a good choice. 
Address individual factors. Some children need more intensive, personalized training because of individual factors, such as a disability. These interventions might be aimed at children experiencing a specific difficulty or those who have previously been identified as at risk for behavior problems. For example, studies have shown that children with mild disabilities tend to exhibit deficient social skills and excess problem behaviors more than students without such disabilities. Interventions aimed at at-risk students are based on individual assessment of the particular child's skills and deficits.  Selected interventions aim to prevent existing behavior problems from developing into more serious ones.
Social skills training should:
  • Focus on facilitating the desirable behavior as well as eliminating the undesirable behavior.
  • Emphasize the learning, performance, generalization, and maintenance of appropriate behaviors through modeling, coaching, and role-playing. It is also crucial to provide students with immediate performance feedback.
  • Employ primarily positive strategies and add punitive strategies only if the positive approach is unsuccessful and the behavior is of a serious and/or dangerous nature.
  • Provide training and practice opportunities in a wide range of settings with different groups and individuals in order to encourage students to generalize new skills to multiple, real life situations.
  • Draw on assessment strategies, including functional assessments of behavior, to identify those children in need of more intensive interventions as well as target skills for instruction.
  • Look to enhance social skills by increasing the frequency of an appropriate behavior in a particular situation. This should take place in "normal" environments to address the naturally occurring causes and consequences.
        IV.      Statement of the Problem

This case study focused on investigating the reality in the relation of a poorly academic student as being influenced negatively by his peers. It shows the various reasons why a student or a child diverts his attention to his outside environment. It also identified ways and methods on how to improve the status of a particular student. Thus, the following questions were asked in this study:
1.      Why are you always with your friends rather than having most of your time with your family?
2.      Why are your grades dropping out? Or continue lowering?
3.      What are the methods and ways that can be applied in solving the problem of a poorly academic student due to the negative influence of his peers?
4.      What are the roles of the parents in the development of their child?  

           V.      Case Study Method
Research Subject: Gideon, 11, a grade six elementary student in Don Amadeo Perez Sr. Memorial Elementary School (Brgy. San Vicente, Urdaneta City, Pangasinan)
Research Period: between November 2009 to December 2010

Student’s Demographic Background: Gideon is a typical elementary student in Don Amadeo Perez Sr. Memorial Elementary School (DAPSMECS). He is a graduating student which is also my learner in our Reading Program in that said school. Gideon lives with his parents but unfortunately his mother died in the early time of February. Thus, he became lonely and in an unexpected event he just turned out to be a go away child with his peers who also influenced him to refrain from studying well and eventually lead to his poor academic performance. Therefore, Gideon was identified as a student having a poor academic performance because of the negative influenced of his peers.

Learning Characteristics
            At first, Gideon is not that difficult to teach. He reads well but somehow he really needs supervision for him to be guided with the proper tone of voice in each punctuation, a thing which Gideon and I talked with each other to remedy in our reading sessions. He is very interested in learning and studying. He has good grades in most of his subjects. However, a certain event changes Gideon’s wholistic personality. His mother died at the age of 61. Gideon became lonely and he finally gave up his interest in studying. He then diverted his attention to his peers which basically taught him to skip, to absent and to do unnecessary things in the school and which eventually made him a lazy, uninterested, and mean child. His gained failing grades in all of his subjects.
Therefore, the author chose this case to be the subject matter for this study, not only as a part of academic reasons but most especially to identify the reasons and ways in having and solving this kind of phenomena in a young student like Gideon.

Diagnostic Assessment

The author chatted to Gideon

Author: Anong Nangyari sa iyo? Bakit biglang bumaba mga “grades” mo? (What happened to you? Why are your grades kept on lowering?)
Gideon: Hmmm… wala po. (Hmmm… nothing.)
Author: Sino ba palagi mo kasama at lagi ka daw absent sabi ng guro mo? (Who are always with you that you are always absent in your class, your teacher told me.)
Gideon: Mga barkada ko lang po.( They are just my friends.)
Author: Naku, Gideon walang masama sa pakikipagkaibigan pero pipiliin mo mga kaibigan mo. Pumili ka ng mga kaibigan na magdudulot sa iyo ng mga mabubuting bagay hindi iyong iimpluwensyahan kang mag-absent o tumakas sa klase.(Gideon, there is nothing wrong in gaining friens but choose your friends. Choose those persons who can imfluence you to do good things not those who ask you to absent or to skip in your classes.)
Gideon: Sorry po. (I’m sorry)
Author: Alam na ba ito sa bahay nyo? (Is this thing known in your house?)
Gideon: Hindi pa po. Hindi ko naman po kasi nakakausap si Papa. Eh wala naman na po si Mama. (Not yet because I’m not always talking with my father and my mother is already dead.)
Author: Gideon alam ko masakit parin para sa iyo ang pagkawala ng Mama mo pero kailangan mong mag-aral ng mabuti at piliin ang mga sasamahan mong kaibigan kasi sigurado ako ayaw ng Mama mo mga ginagawa mo ngayon. Maliwanag ba? (Gideon, I know that it is still difficult for you to accept that you mother is already dead but you need to study well and choose your peers because I believe your mother does not like what are you doing now, Is it clear?)
Gideon: Opo! (Yes!)
Author: Makakaasa ba ako na aayusin mo na pag-aaral mo at hindi ka na sasama sa mga kaibigan mong iniimpluwensyahan ka na gumawa ng masama? (Can I hope that you will do good in your classes and avoid those persons who badly influence you?)
Gideon: Opo! (Yes!)
Author: Aasahan ko yan Gideon! (I’ll expect that okay?)

Strategies initiated by the author in reaching out Gideon

  1. Teach values about friendship. The author taught Gideon on some tips in choosing good friends.
  2. Develop criteria for decision making early. The author also emphasizes the value of decision making. The value of learning to say “no.”
  3. Encourage independence. The author emphasized the value of being independent to reflect and have a more time for one’s self.
  4. Foster positive interests. The author advised Gideon to engage in his some points of interest such as sports or in his studies to regulate the negative influence of his friends.
                          VI.      Results
            After weeks of observation and evaluation, Gideon started to learn the value of choosing friends and the value of giving importance to his studies. He learned to say “no.” he learned to focus more on his academic life and to his relation to his family particularly to his father. He refrained from constant absenting or skipping in class. The author believed that if this will continue, Gideon will achieve his goal and will learn his lessons not only in his respective subjects but most especially in his life.
                       VII.      Conclusion
This study focused on the aspect of a student having a poor academic status as being negatively influenced by his peers. The author identified the reasons for the diversion of a child to his peers and the ways and methods (both parental and psychological) in improving the student’s academic condition. The author also made contacts to the subject person (Gideon) and helped him to have a broader realization on the reality of gaining friends and the value of having a focus in his academic life. In the end, the subject person started to change his life and learned to evaluate himself—his choices and priorities.
Thus, this study shows that the influenced of parents is far more important in rearing a child especially as the child grows and develops. In like manner, the student or the child must have a broader perspective in life as he journeys through the realization of his existence. He must have a condition of being accepted, first and foremost in the family and in his community. However, that acceptance must be accord with what is right and good. “All person must be conditioned to the rational foundation of what is right and good.” (Wotyla, 1999)   

                    VIII.      References

1.      Gogle, M. (1997). Living with my Community. Paris: Nolo Press.

2.      Guillermo, V. (2001). The Thinking Child. New York: Penguin.

3.      Mendoza, M. (2004). The Wonderful Self. Manila: Gomez Publications

4.      Santos, V. (1998). Dealing with Peers. France: Gonzales Press

5.      Tuvilla, V. (1998). Journeying with Others. New York: Penguin.

6.      Wotyla, K. (1999). The Divinity of the Human Person. Italy: Nueva Religioso Press.

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