The Art of Letting Go: A Reflective Paper about Love in the Light of St. Augustine’s Philosophy on the Role of Love

According to St. Augustine, “We inevitably love. To love is to go beyond ourselves and to fasten our affection upon an object of love.”  Obviously, love seems to be the greatest thing that may happen to a person. Everything seems to be a magic if we are in-love. Bitter days turn out to be the sweetest ones because of that person who gives us so much happiness and fulfillment. In other words, because of that person who somehow or truly fulfills the emptiness of our hearts and gives a sense of color to our vague existence, we learn how to smile even through the toughest moments of our lives. “It is our incompleteness that prompts us to love” (Stumpf, 2005). However, there are times in which our love is being tested. There are things that require so much understanding and so much sacrifice in order to have a better concept of what love is. At the end, the question that remains is that, “how much sacrifice can we take for the sake of that person whom we love so much?”

As the adviser of the fourth year class, I always witness my students being troubled with their emotions towards their romantic relationships. I must admit that at this stage, it is a normal feeling. In as such, by their experiences on love, I learned the value of letting go. It is indeed a reality that letting go of someone we love is one of the most painful things to do. However, I learned that letting go of someone we love does not mean having less love, rather, it is having a more and a deeper love for her. St. Augustine expressed his words on love by saying, “love is not selfish.” Firstly, letting go means having a greater love that we want that person to be happy and to live her life the way she want it to be. I believe that if we will hold on to that person who does not feel the same feeling for us, it is not love then, it is a kind of selfishness, an attitude anchored on self-gratification and self-interest. Selfishness is not love. We must learn to let go of someone if we really love her, for love is not a one-way feeling. It must always be a two-way process, meaning, the feeling must be mutual.  Secondly, I learned that letting go is giving yourself a chance. Definitely, there is this great tendency of forgetting ourselves for the sake of that person whom we love so much. Sometimes, even if we are being hurt, we still feel the great love to that person who gave us so much pain. Sometimes, I must believe that love is truly unfair. But, letting go of her is letting ourselves to breath from that miserable feeling of being hurt, of being taken for granted, of being unloved. Letting go of her is loving ourselves so that if time comes, we can still give love to its right object. “We cannot give love if and then we did not experience love at all” (Moga, 2005). It is a way of letting ourselves and giving it a chance to be happy. Lastly, I realized that letting go is experiencing true love. To be honest, there was also a time when I experienced being broken into pieces because of a certain lady whom I really love so much. I was very hurt and the process of moving on was never that easy. There were sleepless nights and countless tears fell from my eyes. I remember myself not eating for how many meals because of too much loneliness and too much depression. There were many times I tried to ask her to be back but the rest were history of more hurtful scenarios. But, one day I woke up telling to myself, “if you really love her, then let her be.” I know that this will never be easy but if I will not do this then I will be her greatest persecutor because admit it or not, she wanted to be free from my feelings for her. In the mere sense, she does not love me. From these experiences, I learned that I know how to love truly for I know how to let go. Loving someone is not possessing her. Most of the times, true love can be seen by the much sacrifice you can make for her to be happy even if it cause so much troubles in your heart. Experiencing true love is letting go of her for a much greater purpose for her sake. It is all about accepting the realities that this special feeling may offer.

In the end, I may say that love has always its right time. Two hearts that situated in a wrong time and wrong circumstance today may be blessed with a chance in the future. Love surpasses time and circumstance. For now, letting go is the best remedy for us to know and to realize better the true meaning of love. Love does not persecutes, it cares. Love does not eternally possessive, it seeks to understand the value of freedom as a greater sense of love. As we always say, “true love waits.” Not now, maybe some other time when things are in their right circumstances.