Narrative Essay

…Just because I am only a Human…

(A Narrative Essay about my Life)

          Personally, to narrate your own life is one of the most interesting yet very challenging tasks to do. It is interesting because you are the superstar of your own craft. However, it is also challenging in such a way that you will reveal the accounts of your life as other people will read it and eventually make impressions on you. So, in making this essay or paragraph, my question is, where should I start?

          Yesterday, I was reading a book and I happened to read this quote from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross;

“It is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it is the only one we had.”

It is a very meaningful quotation that really touched my heart. As I go back to the events that happened into my life, I realized that I became weak. I was engrave to my human nature of being fragile, of being too proud, of being too idealistic and others. I wasted my time of setting my priorities in life. I failed to live my life to the fullest. I was preoccupied by the pride that I had before. However, as I look back to my failures and shortcomings, I see myself as an imperfect being and that is just because I am only a human.

          Going back to my high school days, I remember myself dreaming to become a pilot of the Philippine Airforce. I want to serve my country as one of the persons who will guard its territories and jurisdictions behind the clouds and together with the birds in the sky. But, it was really a dream that never came into reality because when I was engage into some kind of church ministry, such as being an altar server in our church, I was touch by God’s hand. I was inspired by the example of our priests who wear their cossacks and stoles and perform extraordinary works that evidently save the souls of the people. I was attracted to what we called “priestly vocation.” I fell in love in praying and living a life that is worth meaningful and would make such difference. Thus, after graduating from high school and after constant praying and seeking advices and at a very tender age, I entered a diocesan seminary in Cabanatuan City, Nueva Ecija. I lived my life far away from my families and friends and from the world where I used to live with. Inside the seminary, I was really trained to become independent, to study hard until my brain will not burst, to pray seriously, to practice a celibate life, and to live with other people from different culture with different personalities. It was a very different world. At first, I had a difficult time adjusting but as time went by, I found myself enjoying a life away from the world. As a seminarian, I also experienced the pleasure of having such title. As if I was really a priest that when people see me they approach me and give their sign of respect. I will never forget those times when I perform the sacramentals or the rituals of devotion such as giving communion during mass, doing the blessing for the dead, the sacrament of baptism, giving recollections and other extraordinary acts. Also, I will never forget those times whenever I give my sermon in-front of many people in all walks of life. I still remember those times when lawyers, teachers, principals, and other professionals listen to me as I deliver the Words of God into their hearts and mind. However, in the other side of the coin, as I experienced the pleasure of having the title, I also tasted the bitterness of being a servant of God. I will not also forget those times that I had been misjudged by those people around me. It is still fresh in my mind, those insults and ridicules that I heard from them. The way they underestimated me and questioned my ability as a seminarian. I will never forget those days when they looked at me from head to foot and as they were saying to me, “Anong alam mo? Eh isa ka lang dating sakristan na ngayo’y ay seminarita na.”  I will never forget this kind of insult to me until such time that I saw myself proving and having too proud to them in such a way that I am acting like Jesus who knows everything. Because of my wounded pride I found myself not accepting comments or suggestions anymore. I was confined to my mentality of having vengeance to those people who insulted me, to show them that I am someone. But I was wrong because to be real enough, I have nothing to prove to them. That was my life for five years until God shifted again the wheel of my life. An incident happened inside the seminary in which I and my two classmates where torned between doing what is good or continuing our life in a place where scandals and immorality is rampant. Thus, after such discussions and agreements with one another, we went out from the seminary leaving a mark of doing an extraordinary thing of making our stand to what is good and moral. I was really hurt upon going out the gate of the seminary where I nurtured my life with principles and values. I was crying then and I realized that I am not God who can absorb and do anything, I am suffering this kind of situation just because I am only a human being. After going out from the seminary, I decided to continue my life. I realized that I must not be in a corner crying until my tears will last. I realized that life must go on. Hence, I entered into a university where I again started my journey.

          Now, as I live in my new world, I realized that those things that happen to me in the past have its purpose. God is really a God of justice. He is really a teacher who works in a very mysterious way of teaching and guiding me towards my betterment as a person. If you are going to ask me what did I learn from all of my experience? There are many things that I learned but one thing is for sure, I AM NOT GOD I AM ONLY A HUMAN BEING. I am bound to what we call error, pain, suffering, trials, difficulties, happiness, success and other human qualities of life. As I am living my life here outside one thing I will not surely miss and that is, to always live my life to the fullest. Allow me to end this essay by putting the words of one of our priests in our Diocese, he said; “…bilang mga tao kailangan nating maranasan ang mga bagay-bagay na mas makakapagpakilala sa ating mga sarili sapagkat sa mga bagay na iyon mas lalo nating mauunawaan ang halaga ng ating buhay.”